Baycrest Health Sciences & Baycrest Foundation Publications
Issue link: http://baycrest.uberflip.com/i/1530531
BrainMatters •Fall/Winter 2024 • 3 Dickinson says her mom began to show signs of memory loss in her 80s. "It wasn't bad, and then she had a fall, and with that fall she was put in hospital," she said. After then learning her mom had dementia, Dickinson knew she would be happier out of a busy hospital ward and advocated for discharge back to her long-term care home, where she could receive more attention. "Her positivity and her happiness were better, and that really mattered to me." Stella declined rapidly, and that's when Dickinson had to adjust to a new kind of rapport that took into account her mother's condition. "You have an inclination to want to correct your parent and say 'no that's not what happened.' You become frustrated and sad to see them changing in front of your eyes. You try to bring them back with 'no, no mom, that's not what happened. It was this." However, Dickinson soon realized that approach didn't help. "You can be very anxious and concerned and hurt when you see your parent in that way, but I do believe that the best we can do is just go along with it," Dickinson says. "It doesn't matter if they remember it correctly or not. What matters is that's their memory and that's where they are and to accept it." At one point, Dickinson told followers on social media about her mom's birthday and thousands of people responded with birthday greetings, which her mom enjoyed and found "so amazing." Dickinson is a best-selling author, has numerous honorary degrees and prestigious Queen Elizabeth Diamond and Platinum Jubilee Awards. She is concerned that on a societal level, people are not spending enough time with aging parents. She says her mother imparted knowledge even in her last days about her upbringing and how music was important and gave her peace. "Listening is important. Society tends to not listen to seniors. They tend to think seniors don't have any value to add to society, when in fact they have so much. It's about appreciating, looking for the truth, and some influence they can give you."