Baycrest Health Sciences & Baycrest Foundation Publications
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Baycrest - End of Life Volunteer Manual 17 • A spouse who never made decisions about family matters or household finances may suddenly be thrust into that role • The person who always provided emotional support for the rest of the family may now be the one who needs emotional support • Husbands and wives have to take on intimate care tasks – such as, cleaning or feeding their spouse and the familiar relationship as a couple is put on hold To take on these new practical and emotional roles, family members must often learn new skills, and they may need professional support. RECEIVING CARE AND SUPPORT Families who are caring for someone who is dying need care and support to help them manage their own worries and concerns, such as: • Is their loved one receiving the best nursing and medical care? • Is it OK to leave the dying person alone? • What will happen when they die? • How will I ever survive without my loved one? It is during this time that family members will begin to feel the impending loss of their loved one. Sadness, depression, anxiety and guilt can all come to the surface. This is known as anticipatory grief, a period of grieving that starts before the person actually dies. This process is complicated by the fact that not all family members will experience the same emotions at the same time. In addition to their concern about the person who is dying, family members will experience a wide variety of emotional, social, economic and sometimes physical changes and difficulties. They will likely be very tired and worried, and face pressures trying to balance their other responsibilities (e.g. work, caring for other family members) with caring for the person who is dying. Some may begin to feel trapped in their role as a caregiver, and start to resent the situation and the person. These feelings – the impact of living with someone who is dying on the life and health of family members --