Baycrest

Baycrest - End of Life Volunteer Manual 59 • You spend a lot of time thinking about the dying person and family • You want to take over some of their burdens • You are starting to think of the dying person as your responsibility • You are resentful of the dying person's expectations of you. • You are spending either a great deal more or less time with the person than scheduled • You are spending significantly more time than allotted on a volunteer-related service REVISITING BOUNDARIES As a volunteer, it's important to set boundaries with the person and family – to clearly define what your role is and what you can and cannot do. If you are not clear about your boundaries, you may find yourself becoming more involved than you want to be. If you allow your boundaries to get pushed too often, you will begin to feel overwhelmed and resentful, and your body will feel you're not listening and do something to slow you down. Personal boundaries imply that you are meeting your own needs before meeting the needs of others. This is not selfish: it is a way to stay healthy so that you have something to give to others. Check that you are not trying to be indispensable – always coming to people's rescue. That can lead to a loss of one's self with all your time taken up with activities that you "should" do for others. If you feel you are stuck in over-doing, stop and rest. Being aware of your own needs will help you stay out of the trap of excessive care giving. THE VOLUNTEER SELF-CARE KIT • Be gentle with yourself. Remind yourself that you are human and not omnipotent. Responsibility for solving problems does not rest with you alone. Allow yourself to make mistakes and still feel okay as a person. You are bound to feel helpless at times – admit it without shame

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