Baycrest - End of Life Volunteer Manual
51
• Restlessness
• Wanting to die
• Abusing alcohol or drugs
NEEDS OF PEOPLE WHO ARE GRIEVING
Everyone grieves differently and will have different needs. But most
grieving people need and value:
• Being alone and yet having company and being with others
• The opportunity to express their feelings without
embarrassment – this often requires "permission" from those
who are not bereaved
• The opportunity to tell and re-tell the stories of loved ones
• Information about what is normal (am I going crazy or is this
normal to feel the way I do?)
• Permission to be self-absorbed and not feel guilty about it
• Being able to laugh and not feel guilty about having fun
• Permission to experience and express a roller coaster of feelings
MYTHS ABOUT GRIEF
Sometimes our ability to help people who are grieving is affected by
common myths about grieving, including:
• Keeping busy is the best remedy for dealing with the death of a
loved one
• The less the subject of the death of a loved one is brought up,
the easier it will be for the grieving person to adjust.
• Time heals
• The person who openly expresses their feelings about the death
of a loved one is better able to cope than the person who keeps
to him/herself
• Usually, three months after the death, family members will
adjust and begin to seem normal again
• The best thing to do is to forget about the dead person.
• If the loss is not the first, the person usually heals faster. They
have been there and the second time is easier
