Baycrest - End of Life Volunteer Manual
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• Because of the duration of the illness, family members and
friends should have an easier time coping: they expected the
person to die.
• Personal belongings should be disposed of as soon as possible.
This way there are no painful reminders around the home to
upset family members.
• People who visit the gravesite are just living in the past and
refusing to move on.
• It's best to protect young children from death and not express
your emotions in front of them.
• Wait until the child is older and then explain to them what has
happened to their loved one.
HOW VOLUNTEERS CAN HELP PEOPLE WHO ARE GRIEVING
• Be with the griever in their pain; don't shy away from it
• Affirm and reaffirm the griever's value as a person
• Reassure the grievers that they will survive and the pain will
diminish, and encourage them to recognize the good that
remains after the loss
• Help the person decide what to do with mementos/reminders
• Give comfort in ways that you would appreciate
• Bring "aliveness" to the person: plants, people
• Encourage the person to develop and maintain friendships and
connections
STAGES IN THE NORMAL GRIEF PROCESS
Shock: Some people never go through a prolonged stage of shock
and are able to express their emotions immediately. Others say they
feel numb and no emotions or tears will come. Sometimes there is
denial. Gradually the bereaved person become aware of what has
happened and is able to cry or show emotion.
Emotional Release: Many people begin at this point. It is good to
cry in grief, but some people may need permission to cry.
